The Burden of Innocence
by ElvenWarrior33
Summary: At the Tower of Rem, Luke was not the only one faced with fonon seperation. Disappearing is a painful and lonely process, especially with no one by your side.
Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of the Abyss.

* * *

I hate him, Asch hissed, grinding his teeth together to keep from losing it completely. His feet went so far into the snow that it came over the top of his boots. The sudden chill was a reminder that the weather was getting worse. Since he had left Keterburg, the blizzard had come over the land full force, swallowing everything in its path.

The dreck had made that idiotic offer to him again. This time it had been in Keterburg. They had met accidently while browsing the equipment shop. Asch had been looking at a new sword, and the dreck had been browsing ribbons, of all things. Asch had tried to get away before he noticed him, but not soon enough. The replica had started to say something, but when he caught sight of Asch's scowl, he thought better of it. His words caught in his throat, and he looked on anxiously.

"What are you doing here?" Asch demanded. "I thought you were back in Baticul, discussing how to deal with the miasma." Was he honestly slacking off now of all times?

The replica shook his head, and the familiar red hair that they both shared came out from under a white winter hat. A lock hung over his green eyes. He pushed it away, and continued to play with it while he searched for an answer. "I was. But Jade's sister lives here, and he said he wanted to see her." He gave Asch an encouraging smile, like that news was supposed to mean anything to him.

Why would he care about the colonels sister? He didn't even know what the woman looked like. "Whatever," he replied, and returned to his shopping. The dreck was still standing there, watching him. It made him feel like a caged zoo animal.

He payed for the new sword he had selected and made to leave as quickly as possible. The biting wind slashed at his face as he opened the door. The storm was getting worse. It had piled up anothwr good inch or so. Each flake was observed into his robe. His clothes weren't meant to withstand such cold weather, but he couldn't afford anything else at the moment. He could feel the replica still observing him.

Asch paused, still holding the door open. "What?"

"Um... aren't you cold?" He sounded concerned. "I have some spare clothes back at the hotel. They may be a little small, but..."

The hint of innocence, of naiveté in his voice made Asch want to hit him hard enough to knock him into the counter. He held back though. No need to cause a scene here. "No," he replied.

The replica stepped in front of him, taking the door from his hands and letting it shut. The warm air enclosed them both, filling the room again. "Wait. Listen, I know I've made this offer before but... Asch, please come back with me. You dont even have to go home. You can travel with us. We could get tou some warm clothes, something to eat. No- don't say anything. I know you're low on money. All you have are those clothes to keep you warm, and I can tell you haven't been eating enough. You're really pale, too. I don't know exactly what's wrong, but im gonna try to fix it. We're all worried about you.

All of us, huh? He knew what he was trying to say. Natalia probably was worried, and he hated himself for making her feel that way, but he had other obligations, both to himself and the world. It was too late for them anyway. She was a part of something in him that had passed away a long time ago. He could still feel the ashes, but he could never rekindle the flame.

He still didn't like the dreck, but he knew it took most people courage to stand up to him. Sure, he was clearly nervous and probably wanted to bolt, but for just a second, he respected him.

He pushed past him and out into the storm. He pushed his way through the blowing wall of snowflakes. "You're delusional," he called back. "Luke fon Fabre died a long time ago. Stop trying to resurect the dead."

He left his replica shivering in the doorway of the equipment shop, looking out helplessly on his orginal. The replica's hair was in his eyes when he looked back at him, and for that he was grateful. He didn't want to see them reflecting such pointless hope and sadness. There was enough of that in the world. Those emotions would be repressed in him as well, in time. It was always only a matter of time. He wasn't sure whether he was looking forward to the day the replicas eyes becmae as hard as his own, or dreading it.

He hated him. He hates what he had taken from him. When Luke fon Fabre had died, the replica had been born. No one could mourn Luke's passing becuase they never knew he was truly gone. What appeared to be him was not, and what once was him was a person beyond recognition. The replica had been born in innocence. Asch could only dream that he was.

He had to clean the snow away from the hatch of his ship to open it. The snow numbed his hands and turned them blister red. He rubbed them together for warmth while he turned on the lgihts.

He had converted the interior of the Albiore into a makeshift home of sorts. It was still operable by all means, but he had managed to secure a small leather couch and a bed to the floor of one of the inner cabins. He gathered some blankets together while he watched the storm pummle the landscape outside through his small window. The wall of shifting white was impressive, a feat of nature.

He pulled the blankets tight around him and tured to ignore the cold. Unfortunately, he had not yet installed any kind of heating system yet. In most places, it was fine, but here in the middle of the coldest place on Auldrant, it was torture.

He reached over to a small drawer set into the metal walls and clumsily felt around for the handle. He pulled it open and rummaged around in the inside of the drawer until he found what he was looking for. A small bottle of pills, half empty.

He grimaced at the tiny object before popping it open and swallowing two of the pills. He would have to go back for more soon. The doctor said he needed them three times a day. He had neglected to take them at first, but then even with the fatigue it had gotten too difficult to sleep with the muscle pains. He had even seen parts of his body fade away into nothing before, becoming numb spots in his limbs or torso, only to return moments later. It was disturbing, so he had decided the pills were a must.

The dreck didn't even have any pills. Did he not have it as bad, or did he just suffer through it? Asch turned toward the window and focused on the snowflakes outside again. He didn't want to look. He could feel it happening, was aware that in some places he couldn't.

At least the pills made him sleep, too. That was a relief. They were working especially fast tonight. He could feel himself slipping away into a dream. He thought of the replica, and what they'd both sacrificed to get this far. It was amazing theyd even managed to get this far in the first place.

It was ironic, really. He wanted nothing to do with him, yet he had a feeling they were going to fall together, somehow. When they disappeared, it would be for the same reason, and at the same time.

The next morning, Asch found a package buried under the snow in front of his ship. It was fairly large, about the length and width of his arm. He looked around, not really expecting to see anyone. They wouldn't just leave it here if they had stayed.

He poked it, and when nothing exploded or moved inside, he decided to open it. He was curious as to whom would leave a him thing like this and still half wondering if was some sort of death trap.

Inside was a new robe, this one thick and heavy, with fur lining the neckline and sleeves. It looked expensive. There was also a matching pair of boots, and strangley, a couple of muffins wrapped in plastic.

"What the hell?" He said to himself, holding them out in front of him. These clothes looked expensive. "Did he really...?" He wondered.

He searched around some more and found a note next to the box, a piece of tape on the top suggesting it had been blown free of its attachment.

" _Told you I'd try to fix things,"_ it read. _"I guessed that red was your favorite color, since you always wear it, and I hope I got the sizes right. The muffins are from Natalia. She says she wishes you well, and that you'd better eat all of them. I didn't know if I wanted to put this in here, but I decided now is a good time, when I'm less likey to hesistate. My fonons are separating, Asch. When I sacrificed all those replicas at the tower, your power wasn't enough to stop it. I got checked out by the doctor at Belkend, and he said there's nothing more that can be done for me. I don't know how long I have, but it isn't much time. I thought you should know. You won't be unstable anymore when I'm gone, and you can finally go home. Please go home Asch. There's nothing to hold you back anymore._

 _I'm not going to apologize for being born anymore, but I think you deserve to know you have a shot at a happy ending. Please, don't tell anyone else about this. It would hurt them too much._

 _Hope you feel better soon. Being in this cold place probably isn't helping you recover any, just a suggestion._

"Idiot... Can't you understand anything at all?"


End file.
